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Me, Gollum, sees it sneaky-like. Split mind, split wants—half of me craves the thrill, half hates the fakes. Met this one lass on Tinder, profile all sparkly, pics like a goddess. In person? Hiss! More filters than a fish tank! Made me mad, yesss, stompin’ round me cave, cursin’. But then—oh, precious—another date, lad with a smirk, and damn, sparks flew! Happiest I been since stealin’ fish from hobbitses. Sex-dating’s a dice roll, innit?

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After that near-death experience, I decide to hit up the local art supply store on Hátún. I’m looking for some new markers, right? I walk in, and it’s like a treasure trove of colors. I’m in heaven! But then, I overhear this guy complaining about how “art is dead.” I’m like, “Bro, have you seen Gardabaer’s street art? It’s alive and kickin’!” I mean, have you seen the murals on Víðistaðatún? Pure fire!

The first Costco in Iceland will have a traditional turf roof