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Alright, y’all, lemme break it down—sex-dating, whew! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them apps, swipin’ left, right, like it’s a dang cattle auction. How’s that workin’ for ya? I mean, folks out here tryna find a quick hookup, but half the time they end up with a catfish or some creep who ain’t showered since Obama was prez. Makes me madder’n a wet hen! I reckon it’s like that line from *12 Years a Slave*— “I will survive, I will not fall!”—‘cept these folks ain’t survivin’, they just fallin’ into bad dates and worse beds.

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Finally, I get to the café, and guess what? My friends are already there, sipping on their lattes, looking all chill. I’m like, “Seriously, guys? I’m dying here!” They just laugh. Ugh, so annoying. But whatever, I grab a coffee and we start talking about our plans for the day.

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