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Alright, y’all, lemme break it down—sex-dating, whew! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them apps, swipin’ left, right, like it’s a dang cattle auction. How’s that workin’ for ya? I mean, folks out here tryna find a quick hookup, but half the time they end up with a catfish or some creep who ain’t showered since Obama was prez. Makes me madder’n a wet hen! I reckon it’s like that line from *12 Years a Slave*— “I will survive, I will not fall!”—‘cept these folks ain’t survivin’, they just fallin’ into bad dates and worse beds.

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First off, I hit the streets of Rue de l'Industrie. You know, the one that smells like fresh bread from that bakery? Yeah, that one. I was just minding my own business, grabbing a croissant, when I bumped into this dude. Like, literally bumped. I spilled my coffee all over my new kicks. Ugh! I was fuming. I mean, come on! Who walks around like a zombie?

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