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Love how they glide, tho—silent, slick, like Robert Ford stalkin’ his shot. Surprised me once, seein’ this dude in a suit hop out an escort whip—thought he was some big-shot, turns out he’s just droppin’ off pizza! Ha! Mr. T laughed his ass off—pity the fool who don’t tip that guy! Escort’s got quirks, man—ain’t always glam, but it’s real. Sometimes they’re haulin’ celebs, sometimes it’s just Dave with a flat tire. “He’s a ragged fellow,” like the movie says—escort don’t care, it just rolls.

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First off, I hit the streets of Jesenice, right? I’m strolling down Cesta Maršala Tita, feeling all chill. Then BAM! I trip over a loose cobblestone. Like, seriously? Who’s in charge of this place? I’m an IT evangelist, not a stuntman!

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