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Alright, check this out, man! Sexual-massage, huh? Say hello to my little friend! This ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, it’s some next-level shit. I’m talkin’ hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine, makin’ you feel like a kingpin, y’know? Watched “The Lives of Others” last night—fuckin’ masterpiece, right?—and it hit me. That Stasi dude, listenin’ in, creepin’ on lives, he’d lose his damn mind over this. “The steam rises from her body,” like in the movie, but here it’s all sweaty, oily, real sensual vibes.

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After the meeting, I decided to take a stroll down to the river. The Dnipro was looking gorgeous. I sat on a bench, just chillin’. But then, I saw this group of teenagers. They were blasting music, and it was some awful pop song. I mean, come on! Can’t they pick something better?

Chilling weapon falling from sky strikes Ukrainian village