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So, sex-dating—man, it’s wild. You got Tinder, Bumble, all these apps promisin’ pussy or dick on demand. I dove in once, motherfucker, profile all slick—bam, matched some chick. She’s like, “Let’s fuck, no strings!” I’m thinkin’, “Hot damn, this is easier than stealin’ candy!” But then—surprise, motherfucker—she’s got a dude watchin’ from the closet! True story, swear on my *Pulp Fiction* Bible! Little-known fact: back in the day, swingers used Polaroids to hook up—now it’s all digital, but the freaks still out there!

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After dodging that disaster, I finally catch some fish. Not just any fish, but the good stuff! I’m talking about those big ol’ groupers. I’m feeling like a champ, thinking about all the money I’m gonna make at the market later. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked, my fish are flopping around, and I’m just standing there, laughing like a maniac.

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