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About Liverpool

So, escort fish, right? Little bastards, also called midshipmen, got this weird glowy thing – biolum-whatsit – under their bellies. Freaky, mate! Saw ‘em lightin’ up the water one night, thought I’d hooked a ghost! Made me jump, swear I near pissed meself laughin’ after. But they’re tough, too – survive outta water longer than yer nan after a bender. Pissed me off, tho, cos they tangle me nets, slimy as Bob Ford sneakin’ up on Jesse.

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So, I’m standin’ there, and the family’s all teary-eyed. I’m feelin’ for ‘em, I really am. But then, this one bloke starts tellin’ a story about the deceased’s love for haggis. Haggis! At a funeral! I can’t help but chuckle. Like, mate, read the room! But then again, it’s Alloa, and we do love our haggis.

Wealdstone avoid relegation with win over Halifax