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Oh, and get this—some folks say it’s “healin’,” boosts yer mojo, blood flow, all that jazz. I read this study, prolly misspelled half the words searchin’—who cares! Point is, it’s legit. But here’s what ticks me off: creeps who think it’s just a quickie setup. No, no, NO! It’s an art, ya schmuck—respect the craft! Makes me wanna scream, “You dishonor me!” like in the film, heh.

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First off, I hit up Calle San Sebastián for some coffee. Best café in town, no cap. I’m talking about that strong stuff that hits you like a freight train. I order my usual—café con leche, extra sugar. I’m not a monster! But the barista, this dude named Carlos, spills half of it all over the counter. I’m like, “Bro, what’s good?” He just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, we all have those days, right?

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