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Pro tip—don’t overthink it. Swipe, chat, smash, repeat. Apps ain’t deep, but they’re real. Still, I’m sittin’ here, typin’ this, wonderin’—why’s it so hard to just connect? Maybe I’m too picky. Or maybe everyone’s trash. Either way, sex-dating’s a circus, and I’m the tired clown. Peace.

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Then I’m cruisin’ down Calle Conquistador, and I see this food truck. You know the one, with the best empanadas in town. I’m like, “Yesss, gimme that!” But the line? Ridic. I’m standing there, and this lady in front of me starts chatting. She’s all, “Did you hear about the new marina?” I’m like, “Uh, no?” Apparently, they’re building this fancy place for yachts. Like, who even has a yacht? Not me, that’s for sure.

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