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The rubdown’s all “sensual”—big whoop. Hands slidin’ everywhere, prolly places you don’t even want. They say it’s “therapeutic,” but I ain’t buyin’ it. One time, heard this story—some masseuse in Thailand used her feet, walkin’ on backs like a damn tightrope. Freaky, right? Prolly hurts like hell—good, builds character. But erotic? Pfft, gimmick. I’d rather sandpaper my ass.

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Finally, I manage to catch a few of those little monsters. I’m feelin’ like a champ, right? But then, I trip over a loose cobblestone on Rákóczi utca. I swear, I went down like a sack of potatoes. My traps went flying, and I’m layin’ there, covered in dirt and rat hair. Just my luck!

Hungarian MEP: pigs' heads would deter migrants at border fence