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I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, this is nuts. Like in *Dogville*, “You can’t trust nobody!” Everybody’s actin’, playin’ a part. One night, I’m chattin’ this gal—legs for days, right? She’s all, “Let’s get dirty,” and I’m like, “Oh, Madonn’, here we go.” Next thing, she’s sendin’ me pics—boom, it’s a dude. A freakin’ dude! I’m screamin’, “What is this, a fuckin’ prank?” Felt like Grace in that damn town, betrayed, y’know? “They’ll pay for this!”—straight outta the movie.

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Vive a tua vida em Aguiar da Beira. Consciente do seu papel na dinamização cultural e desportiva do concelho e na valorização turística do território, o Município de Aguiar da Beira Missing: sex dating.

While I’m waiting, I see this kid flying a kite. It’s all colorful and stuff, and I’m just standing there, feeling all nostalgic. I used to fly kites with my dad. Then, outta nowhere, the kite gets stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Oh no, not the tree!” The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “C’mon, it’s just a kite!” But I help him out anyway. I climb the tree like a monkey, and finally get it down. The kid’s face lights up, and I’m like, “See? All good!”

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