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Ooh, once knew this bloke, paid triple for a giggle! Triple! Got duped tho, she nicked his wallet mid-chat. Hilarious, yesss, but stupid git deserved it. We loves the chaos, don’t we, precious? Makes life juicy. But ssss, sometimes it’s sad, innit? Young ‘uns trapped, no way out. Reminds me, “What’s left is the sea.” Empty, endless, like their eyes.

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First customer walks in. This dude, I swear, he orders a double espresso with oat milk, no foam, and a sprinkle of cinnamon. Like, bro, it’s 8 AM! Who even drinks that at this hour? I’m already rolling my eyes, but whatever. I whip it up, and he’s like, “This is too hot.” I’m like, “Dude, it’s coffee. Not a bath.”

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