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Like, literally, oh my gawd, I’m a nose, right? But let’s talk erotic-massage, babe! So, I’m, like, to-tal-ly obsessed with how it’s all sensual vibes, ya know? Like, it’s not just rubbin’ oil on someone’s back—nah, it’s this whole *experience*. I saw this shady ad once in Calabasas, like, “Erotic massage, $50!” and I was like, “Bitch, what?!” Made me so mad—cheap vibes ruin it! It’s gotta be luxe, like, candles, soft hands, that slow touch that’s, like, *chef’s kiss*.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud honking. I look up, and it’s a bus, like, almost running over a cat. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But the bus driver? He just yells something in Ukrainian. Classic. I mean, come on, it’s not a race!

A dead lion was found in a landfill in Rivne region: police responded