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Ooh, here’s a juicy bit – heard this story once, swear it’s true. Some chick in the ‘90s, total *whore* icon, conned a sheikh outta millions. Wore nothin’ but pearls and a smirk, walked away laughin’. I’m like, YES, queen! That’s the spirit – take what’s yours, no capes, no regrets! Makes me wanna cheer, throw glitter, dance on tables. She’s my hero, for realz.

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my old buddy, Marek. We used to run around Zabki as kids. He’s now a chef or something. He’s all “You gotta try my new dish!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just here for tomatoes.” But he insists, so I end up trying this crazy beetroot salad. It’s surprisingly good! Who knew beets could taste like that?

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