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About Alajuela

Favorite part? The tease, man! Hands hoverin’, you’re like, “Git-R-Done already!” Kinda like waitin’ for a late shipment—anticipation’s killer! Reminds me of Scarlett Johansson in the movie, all mysterious, makin’ ya guess. But when it hits? Pure heaven! Tho, fair warnin’—don’t go cheap, or you’ll end up with some gal smellin’ like diesel and regret. Been there, hated that!

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Man, I stroll down Calle Central like it’s my own runway. The shop fronts sparkle, little cafes burstin’ with locals and tourists alike. Y'know, I sometimes whisper, "R2-D2, where are you?" like I’m in a sci-fi flick – totally panicky vibes, haha! And, oh dear, the sunsets near Río Grande are so surreal – like, “I’m a slave to this beauty!” (yep, channeling that dramatic line from 12 Years a Slave, dude!)

Jaime Esparza out as US Attorney of Western Texas