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I tried it, got catfished once—angry af! Pic was a 10, real life? “Where’s the lie detector?” I’m yellin in my head. Spike Lee’d get it—Monty’s mirror scene, judgin himself. “You’re a fuck-up,” I mumbled, deletin the app. But then—bam—next date was fire. She quoted, “This life came so fast.” I’m like, “Yo, you seen 25th Hour?” Instant vibes.

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Anyway, I finally get back to it. I’m in my zone, right? Then, I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, a bunch of tourists are tryin’ to take selfies with the river in the background. They’re blocking my spot! I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t a photo op, it’s a fishing spot!” But they just smile and wave. Ugh, tourists, am I right?

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