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I’d saunter up, all awkward, like, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d laugh—*laugh*!—right in my face. “What’s a preacher want with me?” she’d say, and I’d be pissed, like, “Don’t stereotype me, lady!” But also kinda happy ‘cause she’s sharp—sharper than me, probs. Fun fact: back in the 1800s, some prostitutes were called “soiled doves”—ain’t that poetic? She’s a dove, I’m a dork, perfect match.

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The neighborhoods? Oh, they're full of character. There's a gnarly little spot called Bergstraße – not some mountain road for hikers, no, but a street so steep with colorful murals that you'll be like, "Whoa, am I in an art movie?" I sometimes wonder if it’s an Easter egg in Dogville, ya know? "We all know the truth but no one speaks it," or some shit like that!

Vermont Soldiers to Depart for Edelweiss Raid in Austria