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Yo, listen up, ya puny humans! I’m Arnold, back from da gym, and I got somethin’ wild to tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ja! Dis ain’t no fancy schmancy talk, just me, Arnie, spillin’ da guts like I’m bench-pressin’ 300 pounds, ya know? So, I’m sittin’ dere, thinkin’ ‘bout my favorite flick, *Blue Is da Warmest Color*, dat steamy French movie wit’ all da passion and da heart, and I’m like, “Dis is how it’s gonna go, baby!”

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I remember time I was rushing, spilled coffee on my shirt – ugh, whatcha do? So many little imperfections mak me who I am. I often find myself cryin’ happy tears when small things surprise me, like an impromptu street performance right outside my door. Jeez, I laugh too much sometimes.

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