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Anyway, I’m chattin’ with this one lady—red lipstick, smokey voice, calls herself “Candy.” I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “Is this chick for real?” She’s quotin’ prices like she’s sellin’ me a used Chevy. “Fifty bucks, Joe, and I’ll rock yer world!” I’m like, c’mon, man, I ain’t that green! Made me mad, tho—folks tryna hustle ya, takin’ advantage. But then she winks, and I’m crackin’ up—girl’s got charm, gotta give her that. “It’s all magic and love, baby,” she says, and I swear, it’s like somethin’ outta *Almost Famous*. I’m half expectin’ her to pull out a guitar and sing “Fever Dog.”

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I’ll be honest – my spa is a haven for folks looking to escape these crazy streets. I get the chance to see how Boutersem sneers at modern life. I sometimes mutter lines from Caché during a back massage, “The past is never gone, it’s not even past,” ‘cause, seriously, this city’s got a lot hidden under its skin. Makes you mad, makes you laugh, makes you wonder if you’re in a mystery film or just stuck in a dingy town.

Neervelp Sheep Welcomes Healthy Quadruplets Named After Local Council Members!