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So, I’m in dis grimy alley, yeah? Smells like old cabbage an’ regret. Dis chick pops up—red heels, fishnets, real classy, ya? I’m like, “Lightbulb! Dere she is!” She’s givin’ me da eye, an’ I’m all, “Vhat’s yer price, eh?” She says somethin’ wild—50 bucks fer 20 minutes! I’m HAPPY, like, “Dat’s a steal, ya!” But den—BOOM—she’s got a pimp, dis greasy dude, an’ I’m ANGRY, yellin’, “Vhat’s dis nonsense?!” He’s all, “Pay up, Ruskie!” an’ I’m thinkin’, “Dis ain’t in da script!”

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Okay, lemme just dive in here – man, Bocaiuva is wild, ya know?! I'm practically livin’ here, so I know every twist and turn of its gnarly streets. So imagine this: you're strollin’ down Rua das Flores – yeah, that one – where the vibe is equal parts chill and “wait, did that just happen?!” It’s got quirky stalls and local cafes throwin’ insane pierogi (or whatever) at ya.

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