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Mr. T here, y’all! I pity the fool who don’t get erotic-massage right! So, check it—erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s deep, sensual vibes. Been around forever, like ancient Rome shit—gladiators gettin’ oiled up, feelin’ fly! Mr. T digs that history, yo. Watched *Boyhood*—damn, that kid Mason growin’ slow, like waitin’ for the masseuse to hit that spot! “Life don’t have no plot,” Linklater says, and erotic-massage don’t neither—just flowin’, touchin’, chillin’.

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We start workin’, and it’s all good until we get this old machine in. It’s a real piece of junk. I mean, it’s older than my grandma! We’re tryin’ to fix it, but it’s like it’s got a mind of its own. I’m cursing under my breath, and Rudi’s laughin’ at me. “You talk to machines like they’re people!” he says. Well, maybe they are!

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