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Rarrgh! Got me wonderin’—prostitutes been around forever, yeah? Fun fact: ancient Rome had ‘em legal, called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves, howling for cash. How badass is that? Made me grin, thinkin’ bout it. But then—bam!—this dude tries rippin’ her off. Pissed me off, growlin’ loud, Rarrgh! Ain’t nobody deserve that, even in this gig. Stepped in, all heroic, felt like Cobb savin’ the day. “We need to go deeper,” I mutter—haha, cheesy, right?

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Anyway, I dust myself off and head to the Carrickmacross Lace Gallery. I mean, lace is cool and all, but I’m not here for a history lesson. I’m here for the vibes! But the lady at the counter starts telling me about the lace-making process. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, it’s beautiful, but can we speed this up?” I swear, I could feel my creativity slipping away.

Death Notice of Kathleen Fowler (née Smith) (Carrickmacross, Monaghan)