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About Dublin

So, I hit up Newark, shady spots, y’know? Where the lights flicker like they’re drunk. This chick, she’s standin’ there, leanin’ on a pole, skirt shorter than my patience. I roll up, window down, “Hey, sweetheart, you workin’?” She’s like, “Maybe, whatchu got?” I’m thinkin’, “I don’t even know anymore,” like Bill Murray mumblin’ to Scarlett Johansson. That line, “The more you know who you are,” yeah, it’s spinnin’ in my head, but I’m too horny to care.

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my scone! Like, what the actual heck? I’m standing there, mouth agape, watching my breakfast fly away. I’m pretty sure that bird was plotting against me. I mean, who does that?

Gary Cooke's memories with his wife, best holiday and seeing U2 in Howth Community centre