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I’m feelin’ randy as a goat, but also kinda chuffed – she’s got sass, this one! I haggle, throw in some charm, say, “C’mon, doll, let’s make it a gas!” She smirks, drops to 40 quid – score! I’m happier than a hippie on hash, yeah baby! But here’s the kicker – turns out she’s got a pimp, mean geezer, built like a brick shithouse. I’m thinkin’, “I just want to be loved, is that so wrong?” – movie vibes again, ya dig?

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But then, the day takes a turn. I get a call from a guy on the Old Bawn Road. He’s furious! Apparently, someone parked in his spot. I mean, it’s Knocklyon, not a parking lot war zone! He’s ranting about how it’s his “right” to park there. I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Dude, chill! It’s not the end of the world!” But he’s not listening. I hang up, feeling a bit drained.

Three-day water disruption in Knocklyon slammed as 'scandalous'