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*heavy breathing* I am your father. Sexual-massage, huh? Dark side’s got nothin on this. Watched “Uncle Boonmee” last night—friggin trippy, man. That dude floatin thru lives, past vibes mixin with now. Sexual-massage is like that—hands slidin, energy flowin, weirdly deep. Used to think it was just horny dudes in sketchy parlors. Nah, it’s old as shit—ancient China, India, healers rubbin folks to fix em. Blew my mind, legit. *slow exhale* “The forest is alive,” Boonmee says. Same with this—skin’s alive, nerves hummin, wild stuff.

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Finally, I get to the office on Main Street. I rush in, coffee in hand, and spill it all over my notes. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a total mess, and my colleague Sarah just laughs. “Nice one, genius!” she says. Ugh, thanks, Sarah.

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