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About Rishon LeZion

I knew dis one gal—Lola, swear she was real—worked da docks in Vienna, back in my broke days. She’d wink, say, “Arnie, I’ll be back,” stealin’ my line, cheeky lil’ minx! Had a scar on her cheek from some drunk fool—made her look badass. Little known fact: whores in history, dey sometimes ran secret spy rings. How cool is dat? Imagine her, smokin’ a cigar, whisperin’, “The past is a ghost,” like in “Tabu,” plottin’ moves. Dat’s da spirit—never give up!

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I get there, and Mr. Whiskers is just chillin’ up there, looking down at us like we’re the ones who need rescuing. I’m like, “C’mon, dude, you’re a cat! Just jump!” But no, he’s too busy posing. I finally manage to coax him down with some treats. The crowd goes wild! I’m a hero for like five minutes. Then, someone asks for a selfie with me. I’m like, “Uh, sure, but can we not make this a thing?”

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