Ella Tel Aviv Whore ❤️

About Jerusalem

Alright, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, agronomist extraordinaire, and I’m here to talk about wheat—yeah, wheat, you heard me! Respect my authoritah! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *The Hurt Locker*, and how wheat’s like a damn bomb waitin’ to go off in yer stupid fields. Seriouslah, wheat’s a sneaky lil’ whore, ain’t it? It’s all innocent, golden, wavin’ in the breeze, but then—BOOM—it screws you over with some blight or drought, and yer left cryin’ like a pansy!

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So, I chugged some coffee, like, way too fast. I spilled some on my shirt. Great start, right? I rushed out, dodging the morning crowd on Allenby Street. It’s like a human obstacle course out there. People everywhere, bikes zooming past, and the smell of fresh falafel wafting through the air. I swear, if I could bottle that smell, I’d be a millionaire.

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