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So, how’s it work? You pick a spot—online or streets. Online’s safer, less filth. Check reviews, like you’re buyin’ a car. Prices? Anywhere from fifty quid to thousands. Depends on time, place, what you’re after. Me? I keep it classy—dinner first, bit of charm. “Shaken, not stirred,” I say, and they laugh. Gotta make ‘em feel human, not a transaction. Else it’s just empty, like Brandon’s flat—cold, sterile.

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Then, I see this couple arguing. They’re going at it! I’m trying not to eavesdrop, but it’s hard. “You never listen!” “I do listen!” Classic relationship drama. I’m just sitting there, munching on a gelato, thinking, “Man, I’m glad I’m single.”

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