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About Bari

Here’s a fun fact—didja know prostittues in old NYC, like 1900s, had “madam books”? Lists of clients! Imagine me in one—Larry David, “neurotic complainer, bad tipper.” I’d be furious! “Who’s readin’ this? J. Edgar Hoover?” Anyway, I’m standin’ there, starin’, and she’s like, “You lost, pal?” Lost? Me? I’m a freakin’ mess! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t *Brooklyn*—no one’s savin’ me!” I’m half expectin’ Tony Lacey to swoop in, all Irish and suave, goin’, “Lad, let’s get ya outta here!”

Glory's Hole

After that, we head to Piazza della Libertà. Beautiful spot, right? But it’s packed with tourists. I’m tryin’ to teach him how to parallel park, and all I can think is, “Why are there so many people here?” I mean, it’s a Tuesday! I’m sweating bullets, and Marco’s just giggling.

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