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Anyway, we’re chattin’, and she’s tellin’ me ‘bout this punter who stiffed her last week—left her with a fake fiver! I’m fumin’ for her, cos that’s low, even for this game. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, cos I’d sort that git out proper. She laughs, says I’m a nutter, and I’m buzzin’—happy as a pig in muck. Surprised me, too, how chill she was—most’d be spittin’ feathers.

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So, I hit the streets of Fukui, feeling all pumped. First stop? The famous Fukui Castle ruins. I mean, who doesn’t love a good castle, right? But when I got there, it was like a ghost town. Just me and a couple of pigeons. I swear, those birds were judging me. Like, “What’s this dude doing here?”

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