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About Yokohama

So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”

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Finally, I get to the office, and guess what? My boss, Mr. Tanaka, is already there. He’s always there. Like, does he even sleep? Anyway, he’s all like, “Where’s the report?” And I’m like, “Dude, I just got here!” But whatever, I pull it together. I mean, I’m the Assistant Secretary, right? Gotta keep it together.

Legendary Japanese comedian Ken Shimura, 70, dies from Covid-19