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Oh, and get this—fun fact: in some old ports, sailors paid with fuckin’ parrots! Can ya imagine? “Here’s a bird, babe, let’s roll!” I’d lose my shit if she asked for my socket set instead of cash. Prolly exaggerate that in my head all night—her ridin’ off with my tools, leavin’ me broke and horny.

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I rush to the yard, and there’s this whole scene. The inmates are all hyped up, yellin’ and shoutin’. I’m like, “Guys, it’s not a concert! Settle down!” But they just keep goin’. I spot the escapee, and he’s tryin’ to blend in with the cherry trees. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not a ninja! Get back here!”

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