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Once, I heard this story—some chick in Vegas got busted ‘cause her pimp tattooed his name on her freakin’ neck! True story, swear to God! Made me laugh my ass off—imagine that loser goin’, “Yeah, she’s mine!” Ha! What a tool. But it’s nuts, right? Findin’ one ain’t just “yo, gimme a girl.” Nah, it’s codes, weird apps, or sketchy dudes whisperin’ crap. Surprised me how high-tech it’s gotten—like, what, Tinder for hookers now?

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Finally, I end up at the Saijo Castle ruins. It’s not much left, but the view is killer. I’m sitting there, just soaking it all in. The sun is setting, and everything is golden. I’m feeling all philosophical, like, “What’s the meaning of life?” But then I remember I left my sake back at the café. Priorities, right?

Japanese pop star Hideki Saijo dies weeks after falling unconscious