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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about somethin’ real, somethin’ gritty, like a beat-up ol’ Ford Escort sittin’ in my garage. Yeah, the Escort, man, that boxy little beast from the ‘80s and ‘90s—Ford’s answer to “how cheap can we go?” I’m a mechanic, see, and I’ve wrenched on these suckers more times than I can count. Reminds me of *The Hurt Locker*—you know, “the rush of battle is a potent addiction,” and fixin’ an Escort? Same damn thing. Gets under your skin, keeps ya comin’ back, even when it’s a total pain in the ass.
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Finally, we get moving again. I get to my office, and it’s a madhouse. Phones ringing, people yelling. I’m like, “Can I get a coffee first?” But no, gotta dive right in. I’m juggling calls, trying to keep my sanity.
Ted DiBiase Recalls ‘Horrible’ Match Against Ultimate Warrior at 1990 Tokyo Dome Show
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