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About Saitama

I tried askin’ Stan—dumbass didn’t know shit. Kyle? That Jew’s too busy countin’ pennies! So I’m out here, sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is bullshit!” Then—BOOM—found this shady spot downtown. Some chick’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’. I’m like, “Hell yeah, jackpot!” She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Respect my authoritah, lady!” She laughs—pisses me off—but I’m happy too, ‘cause she’s hot! Like, hotter than WALL-E’s trash piles, y’know?

A journey along the crystal-clear Chitose River through the Japanese Prehistoric Jomon Period

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So, I start climbing this massive cherry tree. It’s beautiful, right? But halfway up, I notice a nest. And guess what? Mama bird is NOT happy. She starts dive-bombing me! I’m dodging like I’m in some action movie. I’m yelling, “Chill out, lady! I’m just here for a trim!” But she’s relentless. I finally get down, and I’m like, “Okay, I’ll come back later.”

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