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Look, findin’ a prostitute ain’t hard, but findin’ *the* prostitute? That’s art. Gotta dodge the clap, the cheats, the sob stories. One time, this chick cried bout her kid—made me wanna hurl. “I will skin him, and his wife,” I snapped, all regal rage, but she just blinked. Thick as pigshit. Still, some got tales—heard one ran off with a lord’s gold, livin’ fat in Lys now. Good for her, I say.

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But wait, it gets crazier. Just as I’m about to chill, I get a call about a traffic jam on Route 16. Apparently, a truck spilled a load of soy sauce. Like, what even? I’m picturing a giant puddle of soy sauce, and I can’t help but laugh. “Kisarazu’s got a new flavor!” I joke on air.

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