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I don’t shag her, nah—Bond’s got standards. But I slip her a tip, tell her to ditch the creep watchin’ from the alley. She’s shocked, eyes wide—happy, maybe? “You’re a gent,” she says. I wink, “Always, darling.” Walk off feelin’ smug, but also gutted—world’s a mess. “The only truth is beauty,” I mutter, Sorrentino-style, kickin’ a pebble. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy. Findin’ one who’s free? Fuckin’ impossible. Cheers, mate—another martini, yeah? Shaken, not stirred.

Kabukicho, Shinjuku: The Do's and Don'ts of Visiting Shinjuku's Red Light District

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But then, I get a text from my buddy Kenji. He’s like, “Dude, meet me at the Mitsuke Station!” I’m thinking, “Great, more walking.” So, I hustle over there, and of course, I get lost. I end up on the wrong side of the tracks. I’m like, “Seriously? How hard is it to find a train station?”

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