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So, sex-dating—man, it’s a jungle. Apps like Grindr, Bumble, whatever, they’re all the same. People actin’ all hot n’ heavy, droppin’ lines like, “Wanna Netflix n’ chill?” Yeah, okay, buddy, chill with what—your crusty socks? I tried it once—swear to God, chick said she’s “adventurous,” code for “I’ll ghost ya after one drink.” Infuriating! Wasted my damn time. Coulda been watchin’ *Spotlight* again, gettin’ mad at the world instead of some flake. “You can’t handle the truth!”—damn right, ‘cause it’s buried under filters and fake moans.

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s loud, obnoxious, and totally ruining the vibe. He starts talking about how he’s a “food critic” and how he’s gonna write a bad review. I was like, “Dude, chill! It’s just ramen!” I mean, who does that? I wanted to throw my chopsticks at him. But Yuki held me back. “Don’t start a scene,” she said. Ugh, fine!

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