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Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine, swore he’d never – NEVER – hire one. Guess what? Caught him red-handed, leavin’ some motel! “I am not the Zodiac,” he stammers, like I’d buy that! Laughed me head off, then kicked his arse – stupid, fat hobbit! Sex escort’s a riddle, innit? Dirty, sad, funny – all mashed up! What d’ya reckon, eh? Gollum knows, Gollum sees!

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First off, I hit up my fave coffee spot, Café de Flore. You know, the one on the corner of Sinheung-ro? I order my usual, a caramel macchiato, extra whip. The barista, this dude named Joon, spills half of it all over the counter. I’m like, “Bro, you tryin’ to drown my coffee?” He laughs, and I can’t help but laugh too. It’s just coffee, right? But man, I was ready to throw down over my caffeine fix.

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