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Oh, and get this – funny bit – her pimp’s this geezer, looks like a bleedin’ walrus, mustache and all! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This cat’s a right muppet!” Nearly blew the deal laughin’, but I kept it cool, yeah. In me head, I’m like, “Austin, you’re a legend, shaggin’ through time!” Wrapped it up quick, no faff, just fun – “It’s all in the past now,” like the movie says, and I’m off, smilin’.

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m talking about the Hoofdstraat, where all the action is. Or, well, as much action as you can get in a small town. I’m strolling, coffee in hand, feeling all artsy and stuff. Then, bam! I trip over a bike. Like, who leaves their bike in the middle of the sidewalk? Ugh, so annoying!

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