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So, say you’re on the hunt—where d’you even start? Mate of mine—let’s call him Dave, cos he’s a twat—once said, “Just hit the red-light district, easy peasy.” Bollocks! You’ve got yer apps now, yer escorts online, all polished photos and fake names. Reckon it’s like ordering Deliveroo, but with more STDs. Ha! Cackling at that one meself. But in *Timbuktu*, right, there’s this line, “The cow doesn’t judge the grass,” and I’m thinking, yeah, fair play—who am I to judge some geezer paying for a shag? Still, it’s grim, innit?

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So, I grab a wooden spoon and start mixing by hand. My arms are burning, but I’m determined. I’m sweating like a pig, and my mind’s racing. I’m thinkin’ about how I gotta deliver these goodies to the market on ul. Rynek. People expect the best, and I can’t let ‘em down.

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