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So, picture this—me, bumbling around Springfield, tryna find a hooker. D’oh! Ain’t no red-light district here, just Moe’s bar and Kwik-E-Mart. I’m like, “Where’s the action, man?” Web says big cities got escorts, but here? Nada! Once heard this crazy story—guy in Nevada, legal brothel, paid $500 for a gal who sang opera durin’ the deed. Wild, huh? I’d prolly get one who yells “D’oh!” mid-act—hilarious!

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First off, I hit up Calle San Sebastián. You know, the one with all the little shops? I grab my coffee from that spot, Café El Buen Sabor. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my café con leche, feeling all fancy, when I get a call. It’s my boss. “Yo, we got a situation!” Ugh, I hate when he starts like that.

Abraham Perez Caraballo Obituary December 17, 2021