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Lemme tell ya, findin a prostitute ain’t just point and pick. There’s codes, y’all—little signals. Like, two taps on a window means “you down?”—who knew? Blew my mind! I’m sittin there, sippin my coffee, watchin this dance unfold, thinkin bout Mia’s line, “I’m gonna get out of here.” Maybe this gal’s savin up for somethin big, who knows? I’m rootin for her, tho—quietly screamin, “YOU GO, GIRL!”

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I hit up this little taco joint on Calle de la Amistad. Best tacos ever! I ordered a bunch, and while I was munching, I overheard this couple arguing. They were going off about something ridiculous. I mean, who argues about which way to fold a napkin? I was dying inside, trying not to choke on my food.

The last warden of Colombia’s tropical glaciers