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There’s this spot – lower back. She hits it. Boom. I’m seein’ stars. “The oath… is sacred!” – that’s “Moolaadé” talkin’. Sacred, man. Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ – it’s *art*. Some say it’s sketchy – pfft. Idiots. It’s old as dirt – Egyptians did it. With lotus oil. Smelled like heaven, probly.

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I get to the site, and it’s chaos. People yelling, hands waving, and I’m just standing there like, “What the heck?” I try to calm everyone down, but nah, they’re not having it. One guy, José, is all up in my face. “You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Bro, I’m just here to do my job. Chill!

How Puerto Rico is preparing its electric grid for future hurricanes