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But yo, it ain’t all fun – gets me mad, too. Some of these girls, they’re just tryin’ to eat, y’know? Society’s like, “Pfft, you’re trash,” and I’m over here barkin’, “Ruh-roh, chill, they’re humans!” Makes me wanna howl at the moon. Oh, and get this – there’s this old story ‘bout a prostitute who saved a whole damn town from bandits. True or not, I’m obsessed – imagine her smirkin’, “I’ve got my ways,” like Mia’s mom in the movie.

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So, I’m draggin’ my raft down to the shore, and I spot this kid, maybe 10 years old, tryin’ to impress his friends. He’s like, “Look at me!” and jumps into the water. But dude, he totally belly-flops! I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop my raft. Kids, man. They’re fearless.

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