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Oh, and the absurdity? Imagine an escort rollin’ up in a LIMO made of hay – that’s my vibe! I’d be like, “Yo, hop in, we ridin’ to the MOON!” Total chaos, but it’s love, it’s real! Escorts ain’t robots, tho – they bleed, they laugh, they cry. “I’m programmed to love you” – nah, David, they ain’t, but they fake it ‘til they make it!

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Then I’m cruisin’ down Calle Conquistador, and I see this food truck. You know the one, with the best empanadas in town. I’m like, “Yesss, gimme that!” But the line? Ridic. I’m standing there, and this lady in front of me starts chatting. She’s all, “Did you hear about the new marina?” I’m like, “Uh, no?” Apparently, they’re building this fancy place for yachts. Like, who even has a yacht? Not me, that’s for sure.

Colombia: RSF demands authorities conduct a swift, thorough investigation into the brutal murder of journalist Steven Andrés Fajardo