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About San Juan

Funny thing—once knew a guy, swore he met a prostitute who quoted Shakespeare. “To be or not to be,” she said, then charged him double. Laughed my ass off. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d believe it—people are weird. I hate weird. Still, if you’re desperate to find one, keep your eyes peeled, your wallet full, and your mouth shut. “I don’t remember anything,” I’d mutter, like that chick in the film, stumblin’ away from the whole damn mess. That’s my advice—take it or leave it. Probably leave it. I hate everything.

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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I bumped into my buddy Carlos there. He’s always got the latest gossip. He told me about this new place opening up on Calle del Río. Apparently, they’re serving some bomb tacos. I was like, “Tacos in Orocovis? Count me in!” But then he dropped the bomb – it’s a vegan taco place. I mean, really? In Orocovis? I can’t even.

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