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But chile, what got me hot? This one john—ugly as sin—tried hagglin’ her down to $10! Ten bucks! I yelled, “Boy, you cheaper than a flea market wig!” She deserved better, like Jen Yu stealin’ that sword—take what’s yours, baby! Made me wanna slap him into next week, but I held my peace. Halleluyer!

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After that disaster, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I headed to the local winery. Modra’s famous for its wine, right? I thought, “Why not?” I tried some white wine, and wow, it was like drinking sunshine. I was feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, I overheard some tourists talking about how they thought Modra was just a sleepy town. I was like, “Excuse me? Have you seen the views from the hills?” I wanted to give them a tour, but I was too tipsy.

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