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I go close, she smile, teeth crooked but sexy. “How much?” I ask, she say, “50 dollar, very nice!” I think, wtf, 50 dollar? In my country, that buy two goat AND wife! I get mad, “You rob me, lady!” She laugh, say, “You get what you pay, cowboy.” Cowboy? Me? I no ride horse, I ride her, hahaha! Very nice joke, Borat, you funny man.

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Then, I spot this street performer. He’s playing the erhu, and it’s beautiful. I stop, totally mesmerized. The music hits me right in the feels. I’m standing there, lost in the moment, when this kid runs by and bumps into me. My bubble tea goes flying! I’m like, “Nooooo!” It splatters everywhere. I’m furious, but then I see the kid’s face. He’s just a little dude, probably didn’t mean it. I can’t stay mad. I just laugh it off.

Christmasland 2022 kicks off in New Taipei's Banqiao District