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Oh, and get this – funny bit – her pimp’s this geezer, looks like a bleedin’ walrus, mustache and all! I’m crackin’ up, thinkin’, “This cat’s a right muppet!” Nearly blew the deal laughin’, but I kept it cool, yeah. In me head, I’m like, “Austin, you’re a legend, shaggin’ through time!” Wrapped it up quick, no faff, just fun – “It’s all in the past now,” like the movie says, and I’m off, smilin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Sasha. He’s like, “Yo, you won’t believe this! There’s a cat stuck on a roof on Vulytsia Haharina!” I’m thinking, “What? A cat? Really?” But then I’m intrigued. I mean, who doesn’t love a good cat rescue story?

Russia amasses forces on Kinburn Spit to prevent Ukrainian troops from crossing Dnipro River